It’s only a matter of time before we all burn

I used to think I was just lazy, that I was going to be one of those people always looking for the easy way out in life. Just from a business perspective it makes sense: you want to eventually be in a position where you receive the most profitable return for the least amount of work possible. That’s the dream, at least. But that doesn’t make me lazy to want that; it makes me normal.

What I’ve been having a difficult time with lately has been reconciling my time while I’m not at work. On my off days.

I never thought it would be such a struggle. I’m not sure at what point I went to sleep and decided to wake up and act like a 45 year-old with a wife and family at home… where all I want to do is work so I don’t have to be there… but that’s where I’ve arrived internally. I have no clue what to do with myself while I’m not at work.

This bothers me, even though I maintain pretty normal, relatively uneventful lifestyle to begin with. I just don’t know where to put my time when I’m not on the clock at work.

The first thought in my head is something that makes money, but I don’t really need money. I make enough to be lazy on my off days if that’s what I wanted to do. But it isn’t.

I’ll forever be a student at heart, and I know at some time over the next 12-18 months I will be back at a community college near you, hammering out the remainder of those credits that went unfulfilled in my days at Virginia Tech. I’m excited to go back, eventually, but it isn’t enough of a reality to mean anything to me in the short term. And it will probably devolve into trying to pick up on girls anyway… which is something to do, I guess.

I have far less time now than at any stage of my life, so it’s kind of ironic that now — for the first time — I don’t know how to use it.