The Business

I don’t miss being in high school. High school is a really dumb time to be alive. I mean once you take away not having to go to work, not having any bills to pay, not having any meaningful responsibilities… once you take all those things away… all right never mind high school was pretty great actually.

What I have learned over the last 15 years since I’ve been away from it, graduated, removed, whatever you want to call it, is that high school never truly ends. The faces and the names may change. The classrooms are replaced by offices and work-type buildings. Teachers are substituted by bosses. And classmates are coworkers. Everybody that you ever knew in high school in some way is a part of your life at work. Again, different faces. Different names. But same general archetypes. Same people. Same things.

So when I said that I don’t miss being in high school, what I’m really saying is I don’t miss the way I, myself, was in high school. I felt very entitled about my surroundings. I was possessive over the people in my life. I was worried about everyone else all the time, and not worried enough about myself. I was jealous. I didn’t mind my own business.

And so here I am, at the end of another day. I am awake. A lot of things have changed since I was in high school — personal changes, for the better — and at the same time nothing has really changed with the people in my life and the people tangentially affecting it. Different faces. Different names. I’m a lot better off for knowing what it’s like, knowing who I was and knowing how I came across to others. It helps me understand the way others operate. Because I was there, once. I get it, you know?

But it’s not me anymore. A lot of us like to pretend we didn’t peak in high school. That that’s what everyone else did. Not us. It couldn’t be us. We’re different.

So I’m over it. I don’t need anybody to validate who I am. I don’t need anyone else putting pressure on me. I know who I am all too well. I left my hometown after high school, and after I came back I left almost everyone again. I keep leaving. Leaving is what I do.